ridiculousity

I actually considered washing my vitamins down with pop. Pibb xtra to be exact.

I'm not even pregnant, and yet I am having the weirdest cravings. strong cravings.

The food in the house is just asking to be eaten...screaming my name, and begging that I consume it.

The Reeses Cups especially seem to have a death wish.

I am all about granting wishes. abracadabra and all that.

XQZ me?!

Learning to speak the English language is a difficult task for a small child to undertake. And even if one knows the words, it is often rather hard to say them clearly at 22 months old.

This really hasn't been a problem for our family, as David and I get a kick out of listening to Alexis try to repeat everything we say. Most times it's pretty clear, other times it just sounds like gibberish. ("It's just gibberish folks. Gibberish from an insane person." name that movie)

And then at other times her words sound dangerously close to swear words, and foul language. That's when things start getting embarrassing.

It is quite unfortunate that her pronunciation of the word 'sit' comes out sounding like 's-h-i-t'. It is especially unfortunate when we have company over and she has a fixation on saying 'sit' multiple times in a loud voice.

Just picture an adorable little blonde haired girl with big blue eyes toddling past you. And then picture her shouting 'S-H-I-T' up at you.

Ya.

Being the good, pure-minded Christians we are, we all burst into laughter.

(and yes, I've been working with her to say 'sit' without the 'h'. It might be funny once or twice in our own home, but I would die of mortification if she shouted that out in church.)

rantage*

*rantage is the offspring of the 'rant' and 'rampage' union which took place this afternoon after I received my mangled Taco Bell order.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try not to stereotype people. I tell myself 'Hey, just because they're working at a fast food restaurant doesn't tell me anything about them necessarily.' But my frequent stops at fast food joints lately have been making me doubt myself.

My first sweeping statement this afternoon was that just about every employee who works the drive-thru window is partially deaf. That would explain why I have to repeat myself 2-5 times when I'm placing my order.

Deaf drive-thru emplyee: May I take your order?
Moi: Yes, I'd like a soft taco and a nacho supreme with no tomatos or onions.
DDTE: A taco supreme, and nachos with no tomatos?
M: No. *repeats original order*
DDTE: A soft taco, and a nacho supreme with no tomatos?
M: And no onions either.
DDTE: Do you want hot sauce with that?
M: Yes please.

I pull forward. At the window I am asked two more times if I would like hot sauce with that. Each time I reply in the affirmative.

When I arrive home my next generalization is that lots of fast food workers are stupid and can't read**, because even though my order was repeated to me correctly before I pulled forward, I received a soft taco supreme, and my nachos have green onions on them. GAH.

**I am sure that these sweeping, generalizing statements are not applicable to every worker in the fast food industry. If you work in such a place, are not deaf or dumb, and can read the requested orders correctly, then I am not talking about you.

freakin' idiot!

This is what happens when:
1) you're bored at a store while waiting for an incredibly SLOW machine to upload pictures from a digital camera.
2) your 14 year old sis is at the store and bored as well.
3) your sis has a digital camera in her possession and an insatiable appetite for pictures...ok, so I admit that most of the weird/crazy/silly pictures we took were my idea.

After taking about 10 pictures we had some bossy old fossil inform us that in case we wanted to know (we didn't), picture taking was not allowed in the store. (If this policy is such an important one, then maybe there should be some sign letting young innocents like myself know.) As I thanked her (politely, though not without a hint of sarcasm) for her unsolicitated free information, I was tempted to snap a picture of her sour face for this blog post.

GOSH! *said in best Napoleon Dynamite voice* Just lighten up and have fun! And if you can't handle that, then stop trying to spoil other people's fun. Fortunately, her dour voice and crabby disposition did little to dampen Anna's and my fun night out. We just spent the rest of the time crabbing at each other about "no photos in the store!" and other rules that they probably made to ensure that you only walk in a stately and mature manner throughout their building.