A Warning

For the girl that sat behind us last night, looked like she was melted down and poured into her shirt, and couldn't be quiet for 2 seconds:

My man was not checking you out when he turned around to stare at you. That was a subtle hint that you should shut up because we *really* didn't want to hear your valley-girl commentary for the entire evening. Consider yourself lucky, he's usually not so nice to people who are so desperately lacking in courtesy and social graces.

Oh, and when you made those kissy noises at my husband, it made him throw up a little in the back of his mouth. If you ever do that again, I'll grab you by the generous love handles that are hanging out from under your shirt, and toss you in front of a mirror so that you can see what everyone else is forced to see when you walk by.



Maybe then you'll realize that your mom had a very good reason for suggesting that you invest in a full-length mirror.